There is so much heartache surrounding the ones I love! It seems that every day I hear of something else happening to one of my dear ones! I am praying hard for all them and praying God can use me to comfort and encourage them!
Why does it seem like as soon as things have picked up and the pieces have started to be put back together that the whole thing falls apart again??
There's a spot in my life in which I have been extremely on cloud nine for more than a month now! That one chapter of my life..? Yeah its almost over and done with!! But the next chapter has already opened and unfolded some! That part of my life is amazing! It's an adventure I've enjoyed exploring and hope and pray there are more exciting adventures ahead on this journey! Monkey wrenches keep getting thrown in but I pray they are overcome! More about it to come in a future post!
However most of the rest of it....(not all!!) seems to keep dragging me under!! I am now in frantic search for better/more income. I keep trying to pick up hours at work, as stressed out as that place makes me (no offense to anyone I work with who might be reading this), and I keep sending my resume in to job postings. Now a good portion of this could have been prevented or fixed early on if I hadn't been so lazy and gotten a 2nd job last summer. But thats just the bottom line, I've been lazy about it. Hoping it would work out but not completely willing to rearrange my schedule to do so. (Not that I have a strict schedule or anything!). So now I'm busting my booty trying to figure out income.
I will admit although I am happy for them, I do get a bit jealous of my friends who seem to have it all working out for them. Seems like everyone but me is finding that perfect job, or that perfect house, or managing vacations to cool places or whatnot. I guess I just haven't been 'after it" enough. Maybe I haven't looked in the right places yet. But what are those places? I'll be putting out resumes and applications tomorrow. Maybe something will happen!
Catalyst continues to be awesome! We have a beach baptism coming up the end of the month and that will be exciting and fun! I can't wait!! The youth go to camp next week and I will be helping to chaperone them home that last day of camp! Its been a long time since I've set foot on Look Up Lodge ground! Sure do wish I could go for the whole week!! Maybe one day I'll be able to go as a leader again!
I'm dog sitting this weekend for my neighbors. A young, hyper, yellow lab!! He is very sweet but he is lacking in some manners and he licks everything (ME! EWW!)!! He has to be right behind you no matter where you are and he is the only dog I know that isn't interested in a kong!! So we walk and we throw the tennis ball and we hope to wear him out each day!! A tired dog is a good dog!!
In just less than a month it will be a year since my Papa died. It doesn't seem like it should be here already. I can still see that day like it was yesterday. And I still tear up and sob, too. I miss him so much!! He was such a huge part of my life for my entire life!! I keep wishing I could share things with him. I miss him more every day!
I've got to get back on track with eating right and Zumba again! I did well there for several months and have lost a total of 20 +/- pounds in the last year and half +/-! Still have a little ways to go though to be where I want to be. Even though I haven't been as active lately nor have I been eating well lately I haven't gained any weight back so I'm happy about that!! It was exciting to go through clothes I've held on to and find that a good many of them fit and some of them almost fit!! Its so hot out now that its miserable to do anything outside but I am going to try to get up a little earlier on my days off and walk in the early morning, and also try to walk right before it gets dark ! If not, then my 2nd attempt is to keep doing work outs inside in the AC!! :)
I have been reading the Baxter family series by Karen Kingsbury! If you haven't read it and you enjoy fiction, you may want to pick up the first book and keep reading on!! It is amazing and you will feel like you are right there in the midst of the Baxter family, through all their smiles, their tears, worries, fears, happiness, and sad times. They are amazing books! :0)
Speaking of, its off to find a glass of wine and pick up my book again!!
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Thursday, June 3, 2010
How I started Writing....
This was written probably back in 2005/2006. I've had it stashed in a bunch of papers and decided I should probably type it up so I don't forget!! Back then, things were different! Oh how my life has changed since this was written. This is in the original format, has not been edited so please excuse any English errors!!
So, going back in time a little bit.....
"I began writing right before I began 9th grade. Justin was my influence to write after he shared the poem he wrote at camp with me. One day the words began to flow and my first official poem, "Friends", was formed.
As I continued my writing, most of which is poetry, many things in my life inspired me. The majority of my inspiration was from the people I knew. Overall, Christ has been my bigge3st inspiration. Other things in life, such as nature, life events: graduation, love, marriage, 9/11, births, deaths. All those and more spoke volumes to my heart and before I knew it, I had a ton of writings done!
I am not an artist--at least not a drawing artist, even though I did take an art class!! Poetry is my art--it is how I draw, how I paint; it is the art of my heart! Through my poetry, my life, love, life experiences, and feelings are captured.
My love for writing stems from my love of reading. i've read almost every book I could get my hands on--everything from Nancy Drew & The Saddle Club, to Nicholas Sparks, Janette Oke, and even more recently, Karen Kingsbury!
In addition to my poetry, I've also written short stories, drama's, and even a children's book! "
So, going back in time a little bit.....
"I began writing right before I began 9th grade. Justin was my influence to write after he shared the poem he wrote at camp with me. One day the words began to flow and my first official poem, "Friends", was formed.
As I continued my writing, most of which is poetry, many things in my life inspired me. The majority of my inspiration was from the people I knew. Overall, Christ has been my bigge3st inspiration. Other things in life, such as nature, life events: graduation, love, marriage, 9/11, births, deaths. All those and more spoke volumes to my heart and before I knew it, I had a ton of writings done!
I am not an artist--at least not a drawing artist, even though I did take an art class!! Poetry is my art--it is how I draw, how I paint; it is the art of my heart! Through my poetry, my life, love, life experiences, and feelings are captured.
My love for writing stems from my love of reading. i've read almost every book I could get my hands on--everything from Nancy Drew & The Saddle Club, to Nicholas Sparks, Janette Oke, and even more recently, Karen Kingsbury!
In addition to my poetry, I've also written short stories, drama's, and even a children's book! "
Easter Post
This should've been posted at Easter time......
Easter weekend was perhaps the greatest weekend I've had in a while. Saturday was work and I helped Dad load the trailer for camping. Then I took a catnap, we went to a birthday party for a friend and then Lauren and I went off to church. A surprise awaited us in the form of a T-shirt with our church's "phrase" on it! It was so cool to watch everyone put theirs on as they bought them!!
Preaching was awesome and it amazes me every week how much the message reaches far and wide.
Being that it was the first Saturday, it was Famulari's night and boy did we have a crowd! In fact, there were so many of us that we ended up gathering outside for the majority of the night. As the restaurant cleared out some of us moved inside. There were lots of good times and good laughs had that night!!
Easter Sunday was a beautiful day!! I got up early to see my parents and my sisters off to camp and I got so much done that morning while waiting for them to be ready to go!!
I had a huge surprise up my sleeve for my Nana that Sunday morning. I decided to surprisse her and go to their church's Easter Cantata!! I really surprised her!! It was great to see a bunch of people I used to go to church with. Also saw one of my youth that was all grown up!! Now that will make you feel old!!
After another great preaching service, we went to the Pastor's house for Easter dinner. The food was wonderful and the company was fantastic!! It was great and so awesome to spend some time with old friends and catch up! I had a song in my heart and on my lips the entire day!! Many good laughs were shared and it was just a wonderful time shared by all!!!
Easter weekend was perhaps the greatest weekend I've had in a while. Saturday was work and I helped Dad load the trailer for camping. Then I took a catnap, we went to a birthday party for a friend and then Lauren and I went off to church. A surprise awaited us in the form of a T-shirt with our church's "phrase" on it! It was so cool to watch everyone put theirs on as they bought them!!
Preaching was awesome and it amazes me every week how much the message reaches far and wide.
Being that it was the first Saturday, it was Famulari's night and boy did we have a crowd! In fact, there were so many of us that we ended up gathering outside for the majority of the night. As the restaurant cleared out some of us moved inside. There were lots of good times and good laughs had that night!!
Easter Sunday was a beautiful day!! I got up early to see my parents and my sisters off to camp and I got so much done that morning while waiting for them to be ready to go!!
I had a huge surprise up my sleeve for my Nana that Sunday morning. I decided to surprisse her and go to their church's Easter Cantata!! I really surprised her!! It was great to see a bunch of people I used to go to church with. Also saw one of my youth that was all grown up!! Now that will make you feel old!!
After another great preaching service, we went to the Pastor's house for Easter dinner. The food was wonderful and the company was fantastic!! It was great and so awesome to spend some time with old friends and catch up! I had a song in my heart and on my lips the entire day!! Many good laughs were shared and it was just a wonderful time shared by all!!!
Monday, May 24, 2010
Faded Love
Amazing how things we wrote years ago in our lives fit our life today. I wrote this back in 2002. Can't even remember what inspired it back then. But as I read through it recently I realized that it applies directly to my life over the course of the last year or so!! Wow!!
10-17-02
Like cooling breezes on humid summer days,
And feathers lifting in a hurricane,
I knew your love was quickly fading away,
Surprisingly, your image left my brain.
My heart was shattered and broken in two,
I remember clearly from way back then
It felt like I never would forget you,
How could I know that’s where it all began?
Crossing my fingers and holding my breath,
I waited for that awful time to pass.
Slipping away into what felt like death
Nothing could hold me, not even glass.
Your love faded and my life went on,
Everything felt right, once you were gone.
Sunday, May 23, 2010
Rambles
This was supposed to be posted back in April....oops!!
Here I sit on a Wednesday night----one week ago, this time last week I was sitting around the campfire having a good time with extended family up on the mountain! Great times, good food, and amazing people! I miss them all incredibly!! Can't wait for the next camping trip!
I have 2 weeks left of class for this school year. This current class that I'm taking is on principles of management and has been the most interesting and most fun class of all 6 that I've taken. The teacher really knows how to get her students involved and how to engage them into the lessons!
Looking forward to Saturday night to get here!! I've missed my church family incredibly while I was gone and now I've had to wait another week to see most of them! We had ladies Bible study Monday night and I ended up having lunch with one of my great friends today but I still miss the rest of them!
Here I sit on a Wednesday night----one week ago, this time last week I was sitting around the campfire having a good time with extended family up on the mountain! Great times, good food, and amazing people! I miss them all incredibly!! Can't wait for the next camping trip!
I have 2 weeks left of class for this school year. This current class that I'm taking is on principles of management and has been the most interesting and most fun class of all 6 that I've taken. The teacher really knows how to get her students involved and how to engage them into the lessons!
Looking forward to Saturday night to get here!! I've missed my church family incredibly while I was gone and now I've had to wait another week to see most of them! We had ladies Bible study Monday night and I ended up having lunch with one of my great friends today but I still miss the rest of them!
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Amazing
God is so amazing! He is allowing one chapter of my life to come to a close but He is already showing me glimpses of the next chapter that awaits to be written and lived!! I have to say that I am excited!! He has done so many amazing things in my life in just the last year! I feel like I know Him better now than I have ever before! I am incredibly grateful for everyone He has put into my life to make me a stronger person! I have been richly blessed and I am forever grateful!
I am finally feeling happy again and lovin' life and ready to live it! FOR ME! Not for anyone else, but FOR ME! I don't feel like I've really lived life for myself, but for others, or what others have expected. Its time I followed MY dreams, etc.....and this year is a new beginning! New things are happening and I'm ready to walk that road! I'm ready for that journey! I'm so ready to find out all the things that are awaiting me!
My cup runneth over....................
I am finally feeling happy again and lovin' life and ready to live it! FOR ME! Not for anyone else, but FOR ME! I don't feel like I've really lived life for myself, but for others, or what others have expected. Its time I followed MY dreams, etc.....and this year is a new beginning! New things are happening and I'm ready to walk that road! I'm ready for that journey! I'm so ready to find out all the things that are awaiting me!
My cup runneth over....................
Saturday, April 17, 2010
Updated: 25 Random Things about ME! :)
***This is from my facebook page a while back!~! I thought I update it some repost!!****
1. ...love to watch CSI: Miami & NY, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice!
2. ...do not have cable TV; do not even truly have TV! I watch my shows on the internet!!
3. ...have given up sodas and almost given up french fries!~
4. ...am dying to get debt paid off! GO DAVE RAMSEY!
5. ...love, love, love saxophone and guitar music!
6. ...wish I had a bigger house and lots of land!
7. ...was born in Fairbanks, AK...dont' believe me? ask my parents!!
8. ...absolutely love the smell of fresh clean sheets!
9. ...am 25 (almost) and went back to school last fall!
10. ...would sit and read for hours if I could.
11. ..have lived in the same neighborhood for almost 18 years.
12. ...live next door to my Nana and 4 doors down from my parents.
13. ..hate to get out of bed in the mornings but love being up early!
14. ...hate to be out in the dark alone...even on my front porch!
15. ...cannot stand backyard breeders or people who wont get their animals fixed!! Maybe they should go look at the shelters and see where their puppies end up! There should be strict, mandatory tests to pass for anyone to breed & there should be a nationwide LAW that any dog/cat not for breeding is to be fixed!! (ok stepping off the soapbox now!)
16. ...am a poet and an author...and have 3 more books in my head!
17. ...cannot stand my house to be dirty or unorganized!
18. ...have never broken a bone in my body or had measles/chicken pox, etc (and pray I never do!).
19. ...love cucumbers but hate pickles!
20. ...absolutely love CAMPING!!
21. ...love playing the piano but really can't play very well!
22. ...do not and have never had any wisdom teeth!
23. ...love, love, love Eeyore, GRITS (Girl Raised in the South); anything with the Palmetto emblem; monogrammed initials....anything girly!
24. ...would love to go to Florida to see white sand and clear water; Montana/Colorado to see rolling green meadows in the mountains; Kentucky to see the bluegrass and the Kentucky Derby; Maine to see the tip top of the East Coast; Chincoteague to see the Chincoteague ponies; Alaska to see my family and re-experience it; Disney World because, well, its Disney World!!
25. ...would love to have my own bookstore someday!
1. ...love to watch CSI: Miami & NY, Grey's Anatomy, Private Practice!
2. ...do not have cable TV; do not even truly have TV! I watch my shows on the internet!!
3. ...have given up sodas and almost given up french fries!~
4. ...am dying to get debt paid off! GO DAVE RAMSEY!
5. ...love, love, love saxophone and guitar music!
6. ...wish I had a bigger house and lots of land!
7. ...was born in Fairbanks, AK...dont' believe me? ask my parents!!
8. ...absolutely love the smell of fresh clean sheets!
9. ...am 25 (almost) and went back to school last fall!
10. ...would sit and read for hours if I could.
11. ..have lived in the same neighborhood for almost 18 years.
12. ...live next door to my Nana and 4 doors down from my parents.
13. ..hate to get out of bed in the mornings but love being up early!
14. ...hate to be out in the dark alone...even on my front porch!
15. ...cannot stand backyard breeders or people who wont get their animals fixed!! Maybe they should go look at the shelters and see where their puppies end up! There should be strict, mandatory tests to pass for anyone to breed & there should be a nationwide LAW that any dog/cat not for breeding is to be fixed!! (ok stepping off the soapbox now!)
16. ...am a poet and an author...and have 3 more books in my head!
17. ...cannot stand my house to be dirty or unorganized!
18. ...have never broken a bone in my body or had measles/chicken pox, etc (and pray I never do!).
19. ...love cucumbers but hate pickles!
20. ...absolutely love CAMPING!!
21. ...love playing the piano but really can't play very well!
22. ...do not and have never had any wisdom teeth!
23. ...love, love, love Eeyore, GRITS (Girl Raised in the South); anything with the Palmetto emblem; monogrammed initials....anything girly!
24. ...would love to go to Florida to see white sand and clear water; Montana/Colorado to see rolling green meadows in the mountains; Kentucky to see the bluegrass and the Kentucky Derby; Maine to see the tip top of the East Coast; Chincoteague to see the Chincoteague ponies; Alaska to see my family and re-experience it; Disney World because, well, its Disney World!!
25. ...would love to have my own bookstore someday!
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